It has been almost a whole year since I set out to start a blog and I wrote a very underwhelming 16 - yes - sixteen - blogs in 2010.  That's 1 1/4 per month.  How lazy am I?  I can promise you it's not for lack of cute or colorful things to share.  Probably more a lack of brain power.  Now that Lily is almost 2 1/2 and Jack is in his mid-4's, I feel like there is a little more mental elbow room in my noggin.  at least it feels that way today.  And with the turn of the calendar and the illusion of new beginnings that a New Year brings, I'm ready to saddle up and try this again.  So - again without a major focus, we begin.

In a minute.

I swear to goodness, the days are flying by.  Since the last post, we had a wonderful vacation in Placentia (that's right - Placenta with an "i") with Dan's parents to celebrate Jack's 4th birthday and Mother's Day.  We connected with some friends, visited great grandma Helen, had lots of Gma and Gpa time, a tiny dose of Disney, a giant scoop of Legoland (thanks to my cousin having free passes for us!), and a whole lotta beaching.  and You know it's a good vacation when there is time for doing laundry and library-ing.

I do so very much miss the therapeutic perma-sunshine and my walks alone each morning while Gma and Gpa were on kid duty.   It's been FREEZING here in Portland since we returned, and more than a little drizzly.  I'm feeling gray, stranded, droopy and deserted spending my days struggling to entertain 2 preschoolers with no one to chat with over coffee while they play.  But somehow, it's still nice to be home.  There is a quote for today in the book "Simple Abundance" that I just borrowed from the library that says:  "Ah! There's nothing like staying home for real comfort."  (Jane Austen)  I suppose that is true.

But this is what kills me - what takes me down hard.  I've learned in the last couple years that I need people.  I really need people!  There is nothing that revives me and lifts my heavy lids more than time with a good friend.  Being home is great, but when there is no one to share it with (well, not "no one", but rather "no adults"), even the best of homes can make me feel displaced.   Having good blog neighbors helps, and I love my actual neighbor Sarah so much!  and I promise I do have friends, but it's those in-between hours - the 10 to 4 that looms each day when NO ONE POPS IN FOR COFFEE!  Just stop in!  Knock on the door - I'll put on water for tea or walk up to Peets with you.  I'd even bake something tasty!  Just come see me!

Here's the deal.  I think we need to work on reinstating the pop-in.  We need to remember how to open our homes and hearts to each other!  We need to work at being PRESENT in each other's lives!  We need to commit to being daily friends instead of post-church-chat-ers or see-ya-at-the-park-ers, or run-in-to-you-in-the-produce-aisle-ers.  Any ideas about how to make that happen?

The pictures are from our vacation - Jack's birthday build-a-monkey & cake, Newport Beach, Watkins @ Orange Circle, Laundry Day... I think that's it.

I finished this a couple months ago, but haven't gotten around to sharing pictures.  I have one more project to post.

The fabric is 1/2 vintage 1/2 garage sale-ish - all from Knittn Kitten.   The bobble trim is from a previous project.  The only thing I was bummed about was that the shorts were actually shorts.  I was hoping they would be a little more bloomer-y.

I did like the pattern, though!  and theirs all come with a free paper doll!  woohoo!

ha!  You thought I wasn't going to post in April...  well - neither did I.  But I'm making it in by the proverbial skin of my proverbial teeth!  (That one grosses me out, by the way - skin of my teeth?  I don't WANT to even know how that came to be.)

So, I'm not sure why, but I just haven't had the discipline nor inspiration to write in the last month and a half.  It's not for lack of wonderful things in our lives and lots of fun and interesting things to share; it's been a great month!  I'm just draggin' hinder mentally.  Bring on the Ginko, I guess.  Anybody have any suggestions for getting re-inspired?

I did just finish a GREAT book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.  I don't know how to write about a book that I really like, but I'll try.  Describing a book is just as intimidating as describing a wine.  I don't know if I'm missing particular terminologies.  How do I describe the nuances, the textures, the emotions I feel?  The overall experience - is it just particular to me? or did it make everyone see and think the same things?  Well - I laughed (a lot).  I cried (a lot).  I think JSF has a very distinct writing hand.  Different than any other writer I've known.  It took me a couple chapters to get used to the changes in voice, but once that settled in, I really liked hearing the story from three different viewpoints.  Give it a try.  It's one of those books that you borrow from the library, then are bummed because you can dog-ear the pages and underline stuff.   which is a good sign.

On the opposite end of the spectrum and in further news, I finished book 4 of the Twilight series.  and I have to say out loud-ish that book 4 was my favorite after book 1.  I can't necessarily recommend the series in good conscience, but on the other hand, WHAT A FUN STORY!  so - you're on your own here.

I'll post again tomorrow with some pictures from Easter and my latest 2 sewing projects.  I'm tellin' ya!  A lot has happened behind this silence!  I'm just lazy in the midst of my productivity.   and with that - I close my brain for now.

Today marks our 6th wedding anniversary.  We had a really nice day!  Didn't do anything together, but eat.  Waffles for breakfast, honey peanut butter sammiches on the run for lunch before the Mr. took the Little Mr. to the swimming pool and I took Little Miss to the fabric store.  I wasn't feeling very sharp, so it was nice to have a low key day.

I really really really like this fabric store.  We have a couple very nice ones in the area, but I love the treasure hunt aspect of going to Knittn Kitten on Glisen.  You never know what you're going to find!  But you DO know it will be cheap and absolutely irresistible.  I found a couple calico pieces - one vintage, one not so vintage - to make a dress for Little Miss, some matching buttons in the prettiest pink, a pair of #2 knitting needles, some glitter for general mess making, and - randomly - a bag of tiny hairclips shaped like butterflies and flowers.  All for under $20.   My fabric is already washed and folded and ready to cut!  Hoping for some free time in the next few days to put something together.

The afternoon was pretty quiet - the boys were still out swimming and Lily was napping, so I got to sit and watch my DIY Nation video I've had from the library for AGES and haven't had time to watch 'til now.  It was pretty good.  I thought there were going to be more local people in it, so I was a little disappointed.  But it was fun to see Nikki McClure at work and see some other crafters do their thang in their own creative spaces.

Then I remembered it was our anniversary!  I did get Dan a PERFECT card.  Those are hard to find...balancing sincerity, humor, and a true love message without an overdose of cheese.  But thanks to another local fave, Presents of Mind, Dan was duly carded.  We decided not to go out to dinner - that we'd wait until I felt better - so I walked over to Pastaworks (another great local store!) and did a tiny (under $30) splurge of a dinner for us.  Fresh pasta (rotini) tossed with their Romesco, a baby greens and yellow pepper salad, pearl bakery bread, and a cheese plate with Cabra Al Pimenton, red pear and roasted walnuts.  yum yum yummy!  and for dessert, Dan did the dishes.  That's the tastiest treat I've had all year!

Now we're all relaxing in to the evening with happy tummies, happy hearts and an eye toward the future - here's to another great year!  *clink*

I feel like my brain has stalled out for a couple weeks, but this afternoon has been quiet.  Quiet enough for my brain to slow down and wrap around some thoughts and words.  It's hard to fight against the clamor of life sometimes and find actual thoughts.  Most times I feel like life with a toddler and a preschooler is a chain-mail of joyful chaos - absolutely lovely, but impenetrable.

Today - I feel awake again.  Awake in the quiet.  and I have a quote to share, then I'm going back to listen to the quiet.

"...as I listened I was filled with a great tremendous excitement.  Oh, I love I love I love!  I cried inside myself.  So many people, so many thing!  Music and stars and snow and weather! Oh, if one could always feel this warm love, this excitement, this glory of the infinite possibilities of life!"

Madeleine L'Engle, "Camilla" toward the end of chapter 6.

The pictures are just for fun.  A random sampling of some of the more quiet moments within the mayhem.

What a weekend.  I'm still recovering.  Literally.  We've been passing the crud around our house like a tag-team relay.  Saturday was our only "reprieve" of a day, and then BAM!  Sunday.  ugh!  Lily and I are still under it's  looming darkness, but Jack has broken free from its vile clutches and went back to school today.  Dan has escaped the evil entirely, lucky guy.  (So far, anyway.)

But there was a lot of cheer in the midst of the mire, and since this is a whine-free zone, I'll focus on the cheer.

First, have you ever seen a prettier pear?  and if you look really closely, you can see the stem is still connected.  I thought that was kinda cool.  

We ate it.

And how 'bout this pair?  

Then later, Jack worked on his "project" on the front porch

and Lily, in her "I do it myself" sparkle shoes, took her dragon for a walk.

We also had a family birthday party Saturday night, which was lovely and sick-free, a brunch with friends on Sunday (hope we didn't get anyone sick!!!), and our church Bible study here on Sunday evening.

Monday, I crashed.

"Happy Balentimes Day!"

I think I heard that about 42 times today and thought it was cute every single time. I think Valentine's Day is a sweet little holiday and it should be embraced by everyone everywhere as an extra special bonus day whose sole purpose is for you to tell the people you love that you love 'em.   You can express this grande amour in whatever way you feel best suits your needs - a cheesy card, luscious chocolates, sticky-sweet prose, emo-rock serenade, hand made heart sachet thingies.  These are all viable options.

But if you really want to say I Love You, my dear, say it with:

WAFFLES!

We did have our own Valentine's date last night.  My parents gave generously of their time and sacrificially (I know - it's such a chore to babysit precious grandchildren!)  spent the evening with the kids so we could go out on the town.  I think it must have been a little overdue, because I was giddy over Dinner and a Movie.  We went to our regular date haunt, Dove Vivi, the magical pizza place on N.E. 28th and Glisan (glisten? gleesan? the debate goes on) and filled our tummies up to happy on 2 of the evening's special pizza flavors:  B.E.A.T. (bacon, egg, arugela, tomato sounds weird on paper but it was mighty good eats) and the butternut squash with kale and goat cheese over a cranberry reduction sauce - all with the requisite measure of mozzarella.  Oh so tasty.

After dinner, we still had time to make it to the 7:30 showing of The Single Man.  Beautifully filmed, Yes.  Gorgeous 1960's costuming, Yes.  Good screenplay, Yes.  Classic romantic husband and wife date movie? Not really, but still really good.  Colin Firth (*sigh*) plus Julianne Moore (such a beautiful mess in this movie!) shaken with a bit of Tom Ford (YAY and Congrats to him on a great directorial debute!) all in the cubby wubby womb room of a theater (Hollywood!) equals a very satisfying evening indeed.

I love it when an extra vivid dream takes hold of your brain and breath.  I had one a while back - its peaceful, creative, full-breath-ed spirit lingers.   I was playing with my little girl (3 years before she was born in real life) on the beach.   Everything was soft and cool and sort of grainy like an old Super 8 film...  My daughters swimsuit had a hologram of the dog from Triplets of Belleville perpetually chasing a stick across her tiny bum.  I smiled the peace I felt, gathered my things and headed back to my distinctly tottering beach house.

Inside it was all windows and light, until I started up the layers and layers of dark, wood-lined stairs that led to my attic work room.  It was a long narrow space, all dark, rich, aged wood walls, ceiling and work table shelves and every inch was covered with the flowers I'd made.  There were rows and rows of flowers in random jars and vases, all made from different media - wood, glass, fabric, beads, ferns, leather, fur, clay - but all flowers.  It was breathtaking.

My hope is to paint this scene someday. (First I'll have to learn how to paint.)  Or maybe create a hologram bikini!

(OH!  and my husband was Johnny Depp, but that's another story.)

So I'm not super geeky when it comes to computers.  In fact I'm pretty feeble in the tech department.  I couldn't remember how to get to this place where I create a new article!  aaargh!  But yeah - my humble apologies (mostly to myself) for such a long delay in writing.

It seems like there's so much to say on such a sunny day!  It's amazing how inspiring a little sunlight can be.  Lily and I dropped Jack at preschool this morning, then did our usual stroll down our neighborhood street, but today I felt a little more buoyant, a little more chatty.  We talked to the neighbor and his baby who were sunning on the porch.  We chatted with a construction man who couldn't resist smiling back at Lily.  We found an early camellia blossom that had already fallen, full, red-faced, bloom-up by the sidewalk.

One is at school, one is at rest.  This moment is mine.  I'm sipping my morning V-8 (yay!  one whole serving of veggies!), pondering an afternoon at the farm and wondering if I do, in the meantime, have time to paint my sad little chipped-away toenails a cheery shade of pink.  I have time to paint them, but do they have time to dry?  That's the big question, because socks are NECESSARY even on such a sunny winter day.  These piggies don't come out until the weather hand points to a firm and/or rising 65.

So - yeah - probably not enough dry time, so the painting will wait.  I do, though, have plenty of time to sort a corner of my severely neglected craft room.

For now, I'll leave you with a photo from our play time yesterday...

It's Sunday and normally I would be churching right now, but baby girl is extra gooey and we don't like to spread the goo.

Getting down to business:  The purpose of this blog, loosely speaking, is to track my personal journey from chaos to order, or a semblance thereof, within the boundaries of the Big Blue House.   Sweet Disorder.  My life has become a series of messes, lovely though they may be.  I'm just getting weary of chasing the piles from room to room and was hoping to document some much-needed change in the next year.  And if I get done early, we can just hang out and chat!  yay!

Tiny steps have already been taken:  I'm using my new coupon sorter, so that raggedy pile is contained (thanks to my s.i.l. Tricia).  A cute, sight-worthy basket holds the "music" making tools of my two Tiny Muses under the living room coffee table.  I have a little bin for all my basic baking tools stashed in my everything drawer, (which still looks like a bad bridal shower game waiting to happen, but it's an improvement).

But my personal favorite stride so far - a true moment of pride - is my almost evangelical conversion, nay, conquering, of our "storage stairway."  It started out so innocently...

We live in a 102 year old house whose major selling points were:

• Location³
• the upstairs mondo-bathroom (can you say Dance Party?)
• Built-In & Box Beamed Dining Room
• ooo!  Pocket Doors!
• Fully refinished & rentable downstairs apartment
• Secret Second Stairway

The second stairway.  We're not sure what it's purpose was - a secret entrance from the kitchen to the upstairs - what, in case you were cooking naked and had to run upstairs to get dressed when someone came to the door? or for wafting coffee and waffle aromas directly up to tickle sleeping olfactories? a potential puppy playground for hours of "up and down, round and round" chase games?  This staircase is actually connected by a small landing to the main stairway, not twenty steps apart.  Two sets of stairs going the same place.  why?  Why did they not put a tiny washroom there instead (my mother asked)?  or a coat closet? No - we need MORE than just one way to go upstairs.

Honestly, it was fun for the first year or so (with the puppies that did play those chase games), and has been a tiny point of pride just for it's novelty.  But when the first Tiny Muse, baby Jack, started crawling, we soon realized that it wasn't just two ways to go up, but also two ways to FALL DOWN.  So, up went the baby gates - one on each set - until baby wasn't so baby any more and was able to take the stairs very well and we knew he would be safe.  Then one came down, but the extra one just stayed.  (Now the second baby is in her adventure stage, so both are back up.)  I started stashing ride-on toys in there when I was tired of being hammered in my Achilles, threw dirty clothes up there (in the general direction of the hamper which lives in the aforementioned cavernous upstairs bathroom), set tools out of the way from tiny hands temporarily.  But then those things just stayed.  It became such a handy stash zone that now I don't want to let it go.

So - here's my solution to most of the messes in my life (and perhaps this is a little too telling):  Cover it up!  but in a cute way, of course.  The messy storage stairway went from this: to this:  

and there is one more step to go, but I'll share that later.  For now, the mess is covered.  It cheers me up every time I walk by!  or at least every time I walk by and consciously think about it.  Anyway, it's nice to pass by the Storage Stairway and not flinch any more!

If I had started this blog just 2 weeks ago, I would have begun with something deeply, burdensomely prosaic like "It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...."   Since it's already the 15th of the month and I'm feeling a little under the everything, I'm going to be a little less perky and just say:

Hello my friend, whomever you may be, and thanks for stopping by my new blog.  I'm sorry for the photo trim job above - I need to learn how to use the parameters of my site.  I'll get there.  If I started with perfection, I'd scare us all away.

I feel almost guilty starting something so seemingly frivolous in the shadow of the disaster in Haiti right now.  Instead of soaking in the guilt, which is my typical M.O., I'm going to look upon this horrific tragedy as a reminder that life is short.  If there is something that you want to accomplish, you should just begin.  Strip down to your proverbial skivvies and dive in.   And while you're on a roll, call your mother.